From my heart to your heart - Find yourself again

Just say the word "single" and your listeners will probably make a quick mental leap to many tags, and advised like you why he is single, bachelorette, you should get married, question on their character etc. However I happen to witness one such patient, and it was a touching experience.

I had a patient age 50 yrs, around in December 2015. He had many complains, few to mention urine incontinence, acid reflux, constipation, recurrent throat infection, boils etc. As the case proceeded apart from the many physical complains which he was suffering, he was also depressed and scared too. He narrated that he was all alone living by himself, his parents died when he was in his 20’s, his rest of the family members moved abroad.

Initially he was busy his in carrier, later when he wanted to get settled in life it was too late and he couldn’t find companionship. There were many problem and difficult situation he went through, which affected him deeply, the deepest was his parents being no more.

This had a big impact on him, he lost interest in life, and he would be alone in his room, very less interaction. Being like this he had made his life listless and everything for him was tormenting, there was no looking in life. It was a very tough situation he was going through, and to express that to someone was very tough, because he had no one to confide. No motivation and initiation to do anything. To add all this he also suffered from intense panic attacks, the experience for him was suffocating, he described as all is coming to end, it’s all dark, and death is enveloping him. On the other side it would also have intense anger, with feeling to destroy everything. Sometimes in desperation there would be thoughts of ending his life.

This had affected his social and personal life. He was unable to connect to people, to accept any one in life was not there and at the same time could not remain alone. He wouldn’t go to meet any of his relatives or friends fearing that they should not feel that he is taking advantage and a being burden on them. So most of the time he would be confide to his home.

Everyone on perceive reality and experiences it differently, it is very individualistic to that person. Once we understand this, it helps us to come to a remedy. In this case too, the way he experienced things, his panic, his anger etc, lead me to find a remedy which helped him. But there is also another important aspect to it, which I would like to share, apart from the remedy, the entire process which he went through was an awareness within him, as how he was seeing things, which was not so bad. He could now see some brighter of him, the change in him was dramatic, he came to his original self. He called his family staying abroad, and few of them came down to stay with him for few weeks. The next major change he saw was he started to meet his friends and relatives, he could relate them. Life was not a burden any more, the thoughts that others would feel that he is taking advantage if he would meet them etc. didn’t affect him, didn’t exist. Now he finds a joy in what he does, he is open for things in life. He takes things as it is coming.

Like him there are so many who are alone, sometimes by choice, sometimes because of the circumstances they are in, even when they are with people around they are still alone and depressed. The entire expression comes from this deeper subconscious experience about which they are either not aware or they do not want to accept it, so they refuse to seek help.

Expressing oneself and sharing is very important, men are less expressive and most of the time it is also a reflection the way they are brought up, that they need to be strong, confident and stoic. They begin to equate emotions with weakness. But we need to understand that they are equally human with immense emotions and sensitivity like women. Just that they do not weep easily like women, does not mean they are hard hearted.

Men have much harder time processing their feelings societal expectations have “taught” men not to display any emotions. This becomes a huge problem in relationships because men suppress their feelings since they tend not to have socially acceptable emotional outlets. Which leads to deeper health issues and emotional instability. Which they all understand as a superficial problem and treat with medicines rather than getting to the cause of it and eradicating it from the system and help emotional stability.

This situation gets more when they are single, and there is no body to heart them out. Its like they are lost in their life. There is nothing to look up to.

The world is known getting educated and even more concern about healthy staying. Thus to all those who are reading this I would like to share a piece of thought from within my heart which will reach your heart A healthy mind shapes a healthy body.

Find joy in what you are doing, there are many things in life where you are contribute to, make life meaningful. When we start living, everything becomes home for you and world becomes family. There is a deeper connection with all and there is no sense of isolation, or abandonment felt.

“Connect with yourself within you, you will connect to the world out”

“Emotions live in the background of a man’s life and the foreground of a woman’s.